The scrap pile: converted rooms

Welcome to the scrap pile! Each week I take a joke from the big old pile of jokes I’ve written. Sometimes, new jokes don’t work on stage, sometimes I lose faith in a joke before it even makes it to stage.

What the scrap pile lets me do is work through those jokes and try to either fix them or get them to a point where I would say them on stage.

The joke

“I converted one of the rooms in our house into a cinema room which is great, but now we have to poo in the garden

The reaction

This joke falls firmly in the category of jokes that I would never say on stage so I don’t know what the reaction to it is but I can imagine what it would be and that is what has stopped me saying it on stage.

The problem

Fundamentally I don’t think this is a terrible joke I just think that is is too silly.

The idea is that I’m obscuring the fact that it’s the bathroom which I’ve converted to a cinema room which is a daft notion.

What I do like about it though is that it’s clean, it’s not dark or relying on double entendre, it’s just a silly notion that ends with having to use the garden because we have no bathroom anymore.

The fix

It’s a simple fix for this one, so apologies that it’s a bit of a cop-out this week, but the way to fix this joke is to try it on stage.

Sometimes as a one-liner comic, if I’m doing new material, I will literally just get up with my notepad or a block of index cards and read them as written from of the cards. Very often, I’ll pick the jokes I’m going to do at a new material event that night so there is a stage at home or at a service station en route where I think all the jokes that I pick will work in some capacity.

And then I get on stage, and I pull the next card and I read it in my head and I suddenly decide that it’s not good enough to read out loud to an audience of people.

And this is the biggest killer of jokes because I give up on them before I’ve even tried.

Some jokes work even when they feel like they shouldn’t, but giving up on a joke before saying it means you never find out if it will work or not.

So that’s it for this week, not really a fix but hopefully it says something about the process of trying new jokes. Let me know what you think about this joke in the comments and if you would change it in any way!

Bye for now!


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